I recently heard that the 3 of the top 5 pop songs are duets.  I was really surprised that one of them was "California Gurlz" by Katy Perry.  I've heard the song countless times on the radio and never picked up that Snoop Dogg was on the recording.  My 14 year old daughter informed me that sometimes the station doesn't play that part of the song.  How do you have a "duet" with one of the partner's missing?

In the last post, I talked about the trials Ron and Cathy Tijerina experienced while he was in prison.  He served fifteen years for a crime he did not commit.  In this day and age of DNA and other advanced scientific evidence, one might ask how this possibly could have happened.  Ron knew, and accepted, that it happened because of his reputation.

Two weekends ago at the Smart Marriages Conference, I had the opportunity to hear the incredibly moving story of Catherine and Ron Tijerina.  They faced one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face and had to really examine what their vows for better or worse truly meant.

Psst, guys.  Do you like sex?  Would you like to "get lucky" more often?  Allow me to let you in a not-so-well-kept secret,  chick flicks put women in the mood.

I'm always amazed at my male clients who absolutely refuse to watch any movie or television show that is aimed at women.  I wonder, are they crazy?  Actually, these guys just don't understand how sexual interest and desire work in women.  Don't be one of those guys!!!

Blanche DuBois, a character in Tennessee Williams "A Streetcar Named Desire", famously claimed, "I've always dependend on the the kindness of strangers".

Photo:laffy4k

A colleague, Dr. Willard Harley, suggests that couples spend at least fifteen hours of quality time together every week.  This is time when focus is on your partner, not the kids, work, the budget, or the TV.  When I suggest spending this time together to my clients, the response I frequently get is "We don't have time."

Victory in the Battle of the Toilet Seat!

In the War between the Sexes, the ongoing battle over the position of the toilet seat almost seems insurmountable.  The shrieks, the eye-rolls, the SPLASH, and the anger contribute to the frustration couples feel while learning to live together.  

In the last series of articles I focused on important issues which can cause serious problems in relationships (http://www.balancedfamily.com/).  One of the worst, and least recognized, is resentment.  It works on the foundation of a relationship much like termites work on a house.  Left unidentified and untreated, resentment will rot the relationship from the inside out.

Last time I addressed what really happens when we try to avoid conflict in our relationships.  The inescapable conclusion of conflict avoidance is what's known in family law as irreconcilable differences.  We see this term all the time in pop culture magazines when two celebrities split after being together for a short period of time, often only a matter of months.  But what does it really mean and is it possible to avoid.  I wrote an article recently titled Marriage is for Adults (http://www.balancedfamily.com/) in which I focused on

 The recent scandal involving Elliot Spitzer brings up once again the way public figures handle private problems.  At times like these, therapists are asked by their friends, clients, and sometimes reporters, why people who live in the public eye behave in ways that, when discovered, bring about their downfall and their family's humiliation.  While no one can know what goes on in another couple's relationship, there are some consistencies in why people turn away from their partners and toward a third party.  One of the most common reasons is that a person becomes dissatisfied in so